child currently knocking over multiple pairs of socks and shoes onto the floor…inches from her mothers reach. Guess what moms doing? NOT A DAMN FUCKING THING
Things I thought were not berries that it turns...
duplo: Grapes Tomatoes Eggplant Kiwi Chili peppers It’s already hard enough for me to accept that a tomato is a fruit and not a vegetable. Now, it’s not only a fruit, but a berry? This is too much. - Berry- Wikipedia and Tomatillios (green looking tomato) are from the gooseberry family! My mind was blown.
customer: Hi, can I try this in a womens size 7?
me: sure, let me check.....Sorry, I only have it in a size 10
customer: I'll try it..
me: a size 10?
customer: yep, its cute.
customer: its too big.
its my Friday
*customer trying on display shoe
cust: Im always a size 36 and this 37 is too big.
me: so, you're a 36 and that 37 is too big......
cust: yeah, dont you think so?
me: yes. because it is one size too big for you.
cust: I dont think Im going to get them. I have a pair of shoes at home, I'm going to go home and see if I still have them.
* I am not fucking kidding, this woman is insane and or stoned off her rocker.
afghanibanani: Move - Q-Tip The other one...
For dinner last night: pork chop fruit chews fresh crab meat 2 hot wings
malty: Guess who got two free fucking tickets to see Starfucker this Sunday? This girl! Right fucking here! I’m so fucking stoked! I have never fucking won anything in my entire life! How many times can I say fuck without it being fucking annoying? I fucking passed it? well fuck. sexual favors for tickets does not = WINNING them.
Im so over plaid. OVER IT. On to…… ROMPERS…ooh! terry rompers from 1972! Maybe thats my inner Farrah chiming in…..
Things LA Has That NYC Lacks
ace138: tesslynch: 1. Affordable housing 2. Uncrowded outdoor spaces 3. A 24 pack of beer for $9.99 4. Non-packed supermarkets (Trader Joe’s in Union Square, I’m looking at you, you monster of claustrophobia) 5. The attainable goal of having your own yard filled with citrus trees, avocado trees, jasmine 6. Beaches 7. As-good-as-Shake-Shack burgers for half as much money 8. Ventura...
sunset on the deck.....
*mike squeezing the dogs limbs
me: what are you doing? Is he hurt?
mike: no. Im trying to see which part of him I would eat first if I needed to.
mike: we're not having kids are we.
I bought everything in my basket. FREE SHIPPING! I bought the striped dress you have Kay, so dont wear it around me.
life is too short!!
I think I may just buy my fantasy basket at Forever21.com!! My birthday IS next Tuesday……
When I get bored….I like to go to sites like Forever21 and fill up my basket with everhthing I could ever want - just to see how much it would be. Then I sign off.
I went camping for 5 days….and now, my tumblarity is 3.
Im bringing goat cheese camping. yep. Take THAT Lake Oswego.
…and DID I MENTION - I wore WHITE PANTS to Lake O last night..? WHITE PANTS! I was one little dog away from being someone Kay would date.
peace out bitches.
Headed out of town tonight to camp in the middle of nowhere till Sunday.. kegs 2 bands washers AND horse shoes roasted pig on a spit ME Malty. You lose for not going. YOU LOSE!
mike: I got to kick a kid out of my store today!
me: you should have kicked that last cocktail out of my hands last night
mike: You did have the lions share of cocktails last night...
me: WTF is the lions share?
mike: King of the jungle, you get the most. Is that not some sort of saying? If not, it should be..
me: its not.
my MOM is getting plastic surgery today.
Im so fucking hungover today. Ate my lunch at 10:32. Last night I drowned my LA Laker victory sorrows in 6 vodka tonics and 3 beers…. Woke up with shirt on backwards. Cant figure out if I got dressed like that for bed, or if something else happened…and I dont want to ask Mike. My head is spinning and I feel like at any moment I could puke … AND IM WORKING ALONE ALL DAY. *and...
My thighs are changing on account of me riding to and from work 3 days a week. THEY ARE FUCKING GETTING BIGGER! I have this weird long bulging muscle going down the top of my thigh that was never there before. I CANT WIN!
kid: mom! These shoes fit, LETS GO.
mom: no, now we need to get you summer clothes at the mall
kid: NO! No way. Im not doing that.
mom: Oh, so you're gonna be naked all summer? DID YOU HEAR ME!? NAKED????!!!
kids brother: yeah mom! make him be naked! hahahaha! you're gonna be naked!
Ive had water stuck my ear for over 2 weeks now. I can hear it sloshing around, and its scaring me.