...here is what really gets my goat today.
goat! omg I want a goat so bad, Im one botched boob job away from being Tori Spelling with my baby Stella and urban farm fantasies. Anyway - its MTV’s Real World. This season this guy gets totally ostracized for being straight, but to make money was on some gay website where he lives with a bunch of other straight guys, but they get naked sometimes….and sometimes jack off. Whatever,...
The prime ministers wife didnt wear a...
I could NOT care less.
WAIT FOR ME!
I have Ninkasi thai-iced tea GELATO a 1 year old chubby cheeked ball of happiness all waiting for me at home…
I narrowly missed killing a squirrel on my bike...
what a pointless Earth Day if you kill wildlife while riding a bike!
Ok, you're home now.
YOU’RE HOOOOOOME NOW, BLAZERS. You’d better block Dirks jumpshot so fucking hard it hits “Free Throw Guy” and breaks his jaw. Come on, that guy’s a joke. But you know whats not a joke? Winning. Ask Sheen. DO IT! Do it for Buck.
Bringing My Milkshake
mybiggestregretever: My biggest regret ever is bringing my milkshake. It brought all of these boys over to my yard, and they started arguing saying mine was better than theirs. So I told them, “damn right, it’s better than yours.” Eventually I taught them, but they of course had to pay. [Male, 18]
That fuckin’ bright ball in the sky poked its head out for a few hours yesterday and… mowed the lawn let chickens run in yard for the first time went to Rebuild Center to get supplies for coop grabbed growler from Amnesia tacos from La Sirenita ate/drank outside BBQd pork tenderloin for dinner took dog for walk. sun = productivity.
I will never allow my children to post stickers on...
Oh god. Me either. We’ve actually talked about this.
i love bean: the mother's prayer for its daughter... →
ilovebean: “First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither the Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches. May she be beautiful but not damaged, for it’s the damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the beauty. When the crystal meth is offered, may she…
MALTY! Why are you not on G-chat today?!?? I need someone to talk me out of buying a ‘romper…
GTL baby! I just got my T on!!!
Well, I finally gave in and bought a wildly expensive ‘tanning package’ at a local salon, in hopes to get a little color before Maui in a month - no one likes a burn on vacation! I got some super fancy bed package which will mean that I wont have to go as often to get a nice color. Whatevs. BUT! Get this! (and you will never hear this from me again) SNOOKI WAS RIGHT! There is a...
mike: Gluten free beer is NOT GOOD.
me: Mike. There is no barley in it. Thats 50% OF WHAT BEER IS.
Oh my God. Im DONE entertaining people out my house this year. We’ve had house guests on and off for the past 3 weeks. Our house is so small, like 1,100 sq ft and we have a baby and a dog. and 5 chickens! Pro? I dont drink very much when guests are here. Con? I dont poop as much when guests are here.
Blanche, Dorothy, Sofia and Rose. *the 5th chick is big and black and pecks the rest, Im pretty sure its a rooster….so Im naming it Kobe Bryant and will eventually eat him.